Hello readers (see: Claire)
its been a while since I’ve posted a poorly written rant with ESPECIALLY bad grammar.
so lets start
I’m feeling really low atm, one quarter self inflicted (due to apathy) one quarter inflicted by the inability to get work/Phd, and the other is induced by social media with every one that have such interesting lives, whilst mine stagnates and rots to the great lord of decay (all hail nurgle). the final quarter due to the inability to win and any of the sightly competitive things I enjoy.
Just seems i cant catch a break, i’ve finally had an interview for a Phd, however my nerves got the better of me and i can say I’ve screwed it up royally, so yeah I can wave bye bye to that ship! and the worst part is I look at ALOT of phds and 9/10 i’m put off even applying for them because I ether dont understand the subject matter all that well or I think the institute i’m looking at is too prestigious and wont even look at me so whats the point?…..*sigh* whats the point.
job front is just as bleak, nothing, nadda, zip. I went in to higher education to escape north wales (the only thing here that actually makes the place decent is my happy place aka amce games ((Claire tell Alex i expect commission for this lol)) and get a career in academia or ANYTHING science related. the great irony is after going through the 4 years of uni (undergraduate masters) I get first class honours (highest grade achievable through some miracle, that makes me almost positive my soul is forfeit), i had everyone telling me the world is my oyster with that grade and employers would be fighting over me…..i’ve lost count to how many jobs i’ve applied for and only a small fraction of them have even bothered to even reject me instead of just ingoring me.
those two fronts lead to the apathy: whats the point of doing anything?
then the third nail in the coffin, ok people I get it, you have friends and family go out and do awesome things, you have money and your life is amazing I get it!….at least i have acme (which i admit is awesome) and the gym. i’m 26 years old now, and to cringingly quote a Disney song: when will my life begin?
The competitive gaming thing, is probably because my heads not in the game due to the first 3 problems…
any way rant over. have a gooden folks (Claire)