self pity, work/education related

Epic Frustration

Hello readers (see: Claire)

its been a while since I’ve posted a poorly written rant with ESPECIALLY bad grammar.

so lets start

I’m feeling really low atm, one quarter self inflicted (due to apathy) one quarter inflicted by the inability to get work/Phd, and the other is induced by social media with every one that have such interesting lives, whilst mine stagnates and rots to the great lord of decay (all hail nurgle). the final quarter due to the inability to win and any of the sightly competitive things I enjoy.

Just seems i cant catch a break, i’ve finally had an interview for a Phd, however my nerves got the better of me and i can say I’ve screwed it up royally, so yeah I can wave bye bye to that ship! and the worst part is I look at ALOT of phds and 9/10 i’m put off even applying for them because I ether dont understand  the subject matter all that well or I think the institute i’m looking at is too prestigious and wont even look at me so whats the point?…..*sigh* whats the point.

job front is just as bleak, nothing, nadda, zip.  I went in to higher education to escape north wales (the only thing here that actually makes the place decent is my happy place aka amce games ((Claire tell Alex i expect commission for this lol)) and get a career in academia or ANYTHING science related. the great irony is after going through the 4 years of uni (undergraduate masters) I get first class honours (highest grade achievable through some miracle, that makes me almost positive my soul is forfeit), i had everyone telling me the world is my oyster with that grade and employers would be fighting over me…..i’ve lost count to how many jobs i’ve applied for and only a small fraction of them have even bothered to even reject me instead of just ingoring me.

those two fronts lead to the apathy:  whats the point of doing anything?

then the third nail in the coffin, ok people I get it, you have friends and family go out and do awesome things, you have money and your life is amazing I get it!….at least i have acme (which i admit is awesome) and the gym. i’m 26 years old now, and to cringingly quote a Disney song: when will my life begin?

The competitive gaming thing, is probably because my heads not in the game due to the first 3 problems…

any way rant over. have a gooden folks (Claire)

work/education related

Step by step guide to self loathing:

Step 1: do a degree.

step 2: complete the degree

step 3: wake up every day and apply for jobs.

step 4: wonder why in gods names did you get at least £12,000 in dept?

step 5: wonder why (after getting the highest grade achievable for your degree) no one will employ you?

step 6: become bitter and hate ones self, then repeat steps 3 though 6 daily.


days of Meh….


well there sisnt any really but Its been a week since I last updated the blog….so I thought about I’d talk about what I do during my down time (time i’m not looking for a job), currently in my spare I’m playing several war games: warmachine/hordes (menoth/ret/legion of ever blight) Warhammer 40k (Chaos Space Marines), X-wing (both factions though i’m looking forward to scum and villainy) and star trek: attack wing (federation and the dominion). all of which are very good games to play.

all are competitive and give a nice balance to looking for work or being at the gym, so if your a nerd, bored of video games and looking for a new hobby, I suggest looking in to one of these games as they allow you to compete and gain a new social group of mostly like minded people.

and way speaking of which I’m off to my local hobby store for board game night!

azz out!



… not going well, I’ve officially lost count how many jobs I’ve applied for, (it was above or close to 150 last time i checked) so I’ve signed up to a local agency which puts you on courses and helps with your CV (which I sorely need), to which I’m Looking forward to doing! The phD hunt is going so well ether, because if I’m going to commit to a research subject for four years it better be at least something I enjoy/find interesting. however I’m not hardhearted (Yet, though when I do you’ll probably hear about it on the news lol)

On a positive and equally narcissistic note, as a part of my getting fit routine after 3 weeks of 5 day a week gym sessions, I’ve officially increased the weight I’m currently pressing (dumbbell not barbell) by 10kg on my chest, 8kg on my shoulders, 15kg on my legs, and a 4kg on my lat raises, there has been other increases but I wont get that narcissistic (for this post).

any way I’m off to nerd it up and play warhammer 40k and/or warmachine!


Back from London!

Hey guys and girls (or basically just my friend Claire, Hi claire!),

I’m back from a 4 day stint in our nations capital of London, it was a good trip (filled with discarded tampons right out side my hotel, and period pads floating down the Thames).

other than that I went to euro gamer, met some new people and  got to play on the occulus rift, whilst a bit blurry it was really cool and now has been added to my Christmas list. also I got a free pin for the witcher 3 from the demonstration they gave (as a huge fan of both the books and the video games so i’m uber chuffed with that!)

any way guys off to the gym, will update later!

Current topics

Topical stuff….

Topic 1 Celeb nudes:  yes that subject that makes every man secretly squirm with glee on the inside but publicly (if you have any semblance of being a decent human being) denounce it. lets face it celeb nudes (or nudes of your GF) are awesome (because: hey hot girl with her norks out!) but they are only awesome if you have consent to see them, other wise its and invasion of privacy, cyber peeping tom if you will. usually nude pics are something personal and private shared between two people that are currently bumping uglies. hacking these pics literally invading some safety zone leaving them to feel vulnerable and even violated afterwards, you wouldn’t like it to be done to you so don’t do it to them, instead go spend your time and effort on crudely (and creepily) photo-shopping the desired celebs head on to a porn stars body, that way every one gets to know that,yes you are the pervert we think you are with out violating the idol of you affection but leaving them slightly creeped out instead.

topic 2 gender equality:  I see the term feminism thrown around A LOT recently, even more so with Emma Watson and her UN thing, and you know what you go girl! make the world a better place for both genders! not just women (because you know feminist goal equality).  However on many social networking sites I see young women hiding behind the term feminism just to bash the male gender on how we’re Satan in mortal form (in my family we have established that my grandmother is ether the direct prodigy or some how closely related to the said fallen angle), that is one bad moment away from giving in to our barely suppressed rape urges, yes we are pigs, yes we do loads of douchey and selfish stuff, but not everything is our fault, and the vast majority of men don’t go around sweating like the stereotypical pedophile in a play ground suppressing abhorrent urges when around a woman. we are as a gender not that sort of monster, we’re just selfish ass hole that like to sleep, eat n poop, throw in the occasional tummy rub and sex in there and we’re happy as a pig in muck. keep painting us like a monster and your fight for equality changes to a crusade of hate.

now for your turn guy’s, if you think feminism is wrong or bullshit then you sir are an ass hole, women don’t have it easy and they have a lot of social pressures that us guys don’t have to deal with, and in male dominated career areas are the unfairly treated minority. “get back to the kitchen, make me a sammich” stuff seriously isn’t funny its just offensive and just reinforces that males as a gender are not open minded and are sexist, and shows a great lack of respect. For the the actual sexist : how would you like it if some one thought that you we’re inferior just because of gender? something you cant naturally control (for argument sake we’re presuming gender reassignment isn’t an option). I’m dyslexic and dyspraxic, it infuriates me when some one presumes i’m physically or mentally less adept as people with out those disabilities (suck it pat Jones, I’ve just graduated with a 1st class undergraduate master degree) so i can relate to the scenario some women get from sexist men.

However for my final two cents: I do consider both genders are as bad as each other (see: ass holes), as from first hand experience. During the course of my studies at Bangor university, I inadvertently offended a young girl by waiting a few seconds longer in the door way in order to hold the door for her, for theses actions I received a disgusted look and the title “sexist pig”. While i attempted to laugh it off, we both entered the same lecture theater, an hour later the same thing happens to her, however this time the guy holding it open for her  is not me and was stereo typically “Hollywood” handsome and muscular, for which he received a gratuitous “thank you” and a girly giggle, not realizing I was standing right behind her to witness all this, I decided to call her out on her double standards ” so its OK for him to hold a door and not be sexist?”. This young girl turned around to face me and opened her mouth in order to defend her actions, but stopped, went bright red and muttered an apology when realizing it was the guy from earlier (me) then hurried off in embarrassment. the hansom (but not me) guy who had held the door for both of us laughed and said to me ” shes probably on her period mate” and walks in to the building. I can only imagine the look of shock on my face….

Any way theirs my 2 cents on some random topical issues. i’m off to London tomorrow and fancy some stargate SG1 before I hit the land of nod.

T.V shows

Amazing world of gumball: the puppy

Well for those that don’t know me; I have a eight year old son. (long story for another time for those who don’t know it) when he comes over for the weekends we like to watch cartoon together (some golden oldies from my childhood like Pokemon etc) and more recent stuff like adventure time, and the amazing world of gumball.

While both amazing world and adventure time, are aimed at children created by children that refuse to grow up (my self included in that category) they have a lot of humor that applies to adults but goes over the kids heads. Although I don’t need to sing the praises of kids T.V shows that have lasted on the air for 4 or more seasons, I do have to sing the praises of one particular episode of amazing world of gumball titled the puppy.

With out giving too much of this episode away the title character (gumball) and his siblings (a rabbit sister and a pet turned sibling…yes its a crazy show and that is probably why I love it.)  get a new pet, all does not go as planned (does it ever in t.v. shows?). Despite the cliche attached to the extremely brief episode summary I have given, it is one of the most hilarious things I have watched in a while, it combines somewhat dark-ish  (as dark as humor can get in a kids t.v show) with serious WTF value, that in a more family friendly way, some how eclipsed my main avenues of comedy (, south park, its always sunny, and a few other “darker” than normal sitcom.comedies). I can say with out a doubt have not LOL’d so much because of a T.V show. so if you have a quirky (other wise known as sick and/or dark) sense of humor I recommend that you watch the amazing world of gumball episode known as “the puppy“.


Boredom and idle hands…

well family,friends and potential random people who read this: boredom and idle hands result in the creation of blogs. Expect ever increasingly narcissistic rants and opinions about stuff and people that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

Any way I’m off to the gym to work out my annoyance at the umpteen E-mails of “we’re sorry  but you will not be considered for this job at this time” e-mails i have in my inbox.